Here we go, another F!!! Fear. It's a long one, but near and dear to me, so here goes:
I have recently started attending a bible study at my church, The Grove, and I can't even begin to tell you how much I love it. First of all, I have never really read the Bible! Yes, I have been a Christian all my life and other that turning to the verses I am told in church every Sunday and reading along, or memorizing my short and simple verses as a child, I have never actually sat down and READ the Bible. And I have to tell you, so far, it is a good book!!! The story of God's Love shown through the redemption of his people. Not only am I enjoying the reading, and learning so much from it, but the fellowship with other Christian women is so powerful. I actually have people in my life willing to pray for me and my fears and concerns...out load! You have no idea how comforting that is until it happens...these are strangers that have instantly become close friends and confidants. I have no one else in my life right now that has voluntarily prayed for me when I bring a concern to them, and it is an amazing feeling to have that now.
Today we were reading the story of Saul and David and how Saul was fearful of so many earthly things which lead him to act out of that fear and against the word of God. It really struck home for me...that I need to fear nothing on this earth, I only need to fear the Lord.
And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, -Deuteronomy 10:12
And that doesn't mean be afraid of the lord because he is scary, but to fear him for what he is in all his might and awesomeness. Fear that without him I am nothing. Fear him because he tells me to! It is the type of fear that you have when you do something wrong in your Father's eyes (daddy's little girls, you will get this more). That was my biggest fear growing up! If I ever did anything wrong I was terrified that my Dad would find out...not because I was "afraid of him" but because he was the strong, authoritative man in my life and I did not want to disappoint him. My father NEVER raised his voice to me, cursed in front of me (well if he did, he quickly apologized to me out of respect for me as a child and a female) or became frustrated with me or even so much as spanked me. I knew he would forgive me for anything I ever did, and that he loved me unconditionally and would never ever harm me, but I still "feared" doing wrong in his eyes. One time in my rebellious teenage years, my mother had caught me doing something well, very bad. I was in big trouble, but the one thing I remember most is when she told me she was going to tell my Dad. I was terrified! Him knowing what I had done was the absolute worst sentence I could receive. That is the kind of fear we should have for the Lord. Unfortunately, it doesn't take out mothers telling the Lord what we do wrong. He sees our hearts...there is no hiding from him...so fear the Lord.
What do you fear on earth? I'm not talking about spiders or things that go bump in the night, I am talking awestruck, trembling, heart-stopping, can't breathe fear. Fear that paralyzes you and either keeps you from doing the things you know you should or compels you do thing you know you shouldn't. Or both!
Do you fear your children getting hurt? Unfaithfulness in your marriage? Being alone? Not understanding God's purpose for you in life? Or, better yet, understanding it and not wanting to accept it? Not having control? Not having enough money? The ones you love not having Jesus Christ in their hearts and being saved?
Today at Bible study, we were asked to share one of our biggest and secret fears with our tables and have them pray for us about them. I must say, God put a big one at the forefront of my mind. I am not comfortable sharing it in this forum, and to be honest I was choking up, and having anxiety at the thought of even sharing it with my small group of 3 women I don't even know that well. I almost did not share...But I did. I got it out, along with a few tears. My new friends prayed for me, asking God to be with me and to take the burden of this fear from me. This fear that I have been thinking about and internalizing, losing sleep over, not telling anyone about was now out in the open, said out loud! And boy did it feel good!
Think about the one thing that you fear most in life.
Now...hand it over to God. Pray that he take it on so you can stop worrying.
Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Pray and ask others to pray for/with you.
I hope this post wasn't too preachy, I am soooooo not the preachy type...in fact I am the type that shuts down when I feel I am being preached to unsolicited. but I felt such a huge weight lifted off my shoulders today and I just had to share it! Do I still have fear? Am I human? Yes of course I do and I am, but now I know that I can let go of all of that and give it to God to worry about.
P.S. saw this saying on a placard at Bed Bath and Beyond today and I love it! "Stay Calm and Carry On" Nothing to do with fear but thought I would share :-)
Have a great day!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Gram and The fruits of the spirit
This week was all about Family...went to Chicago with my Mom and step-dad to bury my grandmother last week. This was the first actual funeral I have ever been to in my (short) 30 years and I have to be honest I was a little nervous about it. My aunts had decided on an open casket and we had a viewing the night before the service and burial to say good bye to Gram. I didn't really know what to expect when I saw her...I have never seen a dead body before. Would it be scary, weird, gross, I had no idea and stayed in the back of the room hiding behind having to care for my son for a good time before going up to find out. My mom went with me and the truth was...she was beautiful. I know in movies that is all anyone ever says at the viewing "she looks so beautiful" or "so peaceful". But it really was true! Gram looked at peace and about 20 years younger than the last time I remember seeing her alive. Just stunning. It was a great way to be able to say goodbye one last time to her. In fact I found myself glancing back to her again and again all night and throughout the funeral the next day just to catch a few more glimpses of her lovely face.
The service was just what I needed, I learned things about my Grandma I never knew..like her middle name was May! Wilma May (Jones) Boales. How pretty! And that after she retired from her job in Downtown Chicago at the age of 71, she took a limo home on her last day of work! She did this after taking a bus to the el and then walking several blocks to work every day of her life before that. The one thing that stuck with me about the service was that everyone kept saying over and over what a good example she was for everyone around her...always patient and kind, she was a quiet woman who held her tongue and the best example of a christian woman. After this week, Gram has become someone I want to strive to be like; no matter what happens to me or around me I want to be content and personify the fruits of the spirit as she did. (Thanks "Pastor" Bill) The fruits of the spirit...what are they? They are written and hang on a plaque by my back door and I look at them every day, but I could not for the life of me recite them all by heart! The nine attributes of a true Christian and Gram had them all! Even through hardships in her life as devastating as the death of a child, nasty relationships, divorce, financial strife...through all of that and more, every person that spoke of her said she never let any of it penetrate her because of her relationship with Jesus Christ. Wow. What a woman she was.
So here they are, the 9 fruits of the spirit or Rather, the 9 dimensions of the 1 fruit of the Spirit that characterizes all who truly walk with Christ
Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self-Control
Wow...can you say you have all of these virtues? Every single one? I doubt many people can...but I can tell you this, I am sure going to try...I want to walk with Christ and I want to be the one who "teaches" my children how to live life as a Christian and to be close with God so that they may have abundant and eternal life also. Teach them not by "sitting them down and telling them about it" but by living my own life in this way. (thanks Aunt Bertie :-)
The rest of the weekend was just so good to be able to connect with family members I haven't seen in a while and making raviolis from scratch with "Chef Bill" (formerly Pastor Bill) and about 15 of my cousins in one kitchen! Watching Tino meeting family and saying "I love you": for the first time!! Well, he said "I La lou" but close enough!!! It was a week of restoration of family, and faith and I am so thankful for it.
Unfortunately all of the time off and good Midwest food (white Castle, fried chicken, BBQ, raviolis, Chicago Hot Dogs), my Fitness suffered a bit! Even with an impromptu Sh'Bam session in my cousin's basement after some live Karaoke, it's time to get back in shape! Last 10 lbs; be afraid, be very afraid!!!
I love you Gram and Thank you for being such an amazing example of a true Christian. See you later! (Thanks Mom ;-)
The service was just what I needed, I learned things about my Grandma I never knew..like her middle name was May! Wilma May (Jones) Boales. How pretty! And that after she retired from her job in Downtown Chicago at the age of 71, she took a limo home on her last day of work! She did this after taking a bus to the el and then walking several blocks to work every day of her life before that. The one thing that stuck with me about the service was that everyone kept saying over and over what a good example she was for everyone around her...always patient and kind, she was a quiet woman who held her tongue and the best example of a christian woman. After this week, Gram has become someone I want to strive to be like; no matter what happens to me or around me I want to be content and personify the fruits of the spirit as she did. (Thanks "Pastor" Bill) The fruits of the spirit...what are they? They are written and hang on a plaque by my back door and I look at them every day, but I could not for the life of me recite them all by heart! The nine attributes of a true Christian and Gram had them all! Even through hardships in her life as devastating as the death of a child, nasty relationships, divorce, financial strife...through all of that and more, every person that spoke of her said she never let any of it penetrate her because of her relationship with Jesus Christ. Wow. What a woman she was.
So here they are, the 9 fruits of the spirit or Rather, the 9 dimensions of the 1 fruit of the Spirit that characterizes all who truly walk with Christ
Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self-Control
Wow...can you say you have all of these virtues? Every single one? I doubt many people can...but I can tell you this, I am sure going to try...I want to walk with Christ and I want to be the one who "teaches" my children how to live life as a Christian and to be close with God so that they may have abundant and eternal life also. Teach them not by "sitting them down and telling them about it" but by living my own life in this way. (thanks Aunt Bertie :-)
The rest of the weekend was just so good to be able to connect with family members I haven't seen in a while and making raviolis from scratch with "Chef Bill" (formerly Pastor Bill) and about 15 of my cousins in one kitchen! Watching Tino meeting family and saying "I love you": for the first time!! Well, he said "I La lou" but close enough!!! It was a week of restoration of family, and faith and I am so thankful for it.
Unfortunately all of the time off and good Midwest food (white Castle, fried chicken, BBQ, raviolis, Chicago Hot Dogs), my Fitness suffered a bit! Even with an impromptu Sh'Bam session in my cousin's basement after some live Karaoke, it's time to get back in shape! Last 10 lbs; be afraid, be very afraid!!!
I love you Gram and Thank you for being such an amazing example of a true Christian. See you later! (Thanks Mom ;-)
Friday, March 18, 2011
Hello blog world
It's me Mommy Smalls. Truth is, I have no idea what I am doing here, or if anyone will even read this, but I have thoughts, a lot of thoughts. Way too many for my hubby to listen to every night and I am passionate! Passionate about so many things I want to share! All of those things just happen to start with the letter F, go figure! So that is where Mommy Smalls and the 7 F's came from! (Smalls is my hubby's nickname for me, and I'm a mommy) So for my first post let me break down each F in simplicity for you.
F #1 Faith
I have always been of Christian faith. As a girl I went to church regularly and loved it...it was just a part of life! through my older teenage and younger adult years I drifted a bit from that lifestyle. but never lost my faith in God. I am ecstatic that I have recently found a new church that feels like home and am beginning my long journey to strengthen my relationship with God again! Faith is now at the center of my life again as it should be
F #2 Family
Where would I be without them? My parents, Aunts, Uncles, Brothers and Sister-in-laws have molded me into the woman I have become. And now the torch has been passed to me to do the same for my sweet family of my husband, Rich, My step-daughters; BreHanna and Sarah and my baby boy Constan"Tino". Being a step-parent and a new mom ( 2 completely different feats I must say!) challenges me every day but it is also the best thing I have ever done with my life!
F#3 Friends
The truth is, I don't have a lot of friends in the "we hang out and talk all the time sense". Every single person I know in my life is special to me, and I know a ton of people.If I had the time (and energy) I would keep in touch with all of them and go out to see them but let's face it...that's what Facebook and blogs are for these days! My "best" friends know who they are and I am so grateful for them. For the motherly advice/funny stories we share, the hilarious spoof songs we write together on the bus, and the nights when we casually meet up halfway across the globe for wine in the plaza! The best friends are the ones you don't have to talk to all the time, but when you do you feel as though you saw them yesterday!
F#4 Fitness
My late great full time job before I became a full time mommy was Group Fitness Manager for Fitness Works Athletic Clubs. I am still a part time Les Mills Group Fitness Trainer for Fitness Works and bona fide Les Mills Junkie! For those of you who don't know Les Mills, it is a company based in New Zealand and their programs guarantee life changing fitness experiences every time! I currently teach Les Mills Sh"Bam, Bodypump, Bodycombat and (sometimes) Bodyjam! Check them out at www.lesmills.com and my class schedule at www.fitnessworks.com But beware...it is addicting :-)
F#5 Frugality
If you read F #4 you know I am now a full time stay at home mommy...this has forced me to become frugal. My husband is so supportive of me wanting to be able to be home with Tino since he will most likely be my only chance at being a mommy and I want to be sure I get it right! I was so afraid to even ask if I could stay home but when I did, Rich supported my decision 110%. So much that he even volunteered to get a second part time job at first just to be sure we could afford it. He is so great. However, I still felt I needed to "contribute" so I have come up with ways to "supplement" the income by not spending as much...I have become a coupon queen! In fact that is how I even got the idea for this blog...I started reading a blog called thecentsableshoppin to learn about saving money on your groceries and I got hooked...I now regularly save up to 75% off our weekly grocery bill! If there is a coupon for it, I have clipped it!
F#6 Food
There really isn't much to say about it other than I just love food! I love cooking it, I love eating it, I love watching it on TV, I love everything about it (good thing I love fitness too or I would weigh 300 lbs!). My husband always makes fun of me if I see something on a menu and say "ooh! I love that!" because he says I "love" everything!
F#7 Fashion
Now don't forget F #5. I don't go around sporting Loubiutin shoe's or anything! In fact I don't think I have even purchased any clothing for myself in at least 6 months, but I still LOVE fashion. I love all shoes, purses, jackets and accessories. My dream is to have a closet just for shoes (most of them would be Nikes nowadays, but I still have room for some high heels in my life!) I also love fashion that is functional...and I feed that craving with Thirty-One Gifts. A Faith based company created for women. They sell all sorts of purses, bags and accessories that can all be personalized!!! I'm a little obsessed so I became a consultant (again to contribute to F#5...at least that is what I tell myself...I usually end up spending my profits on more Thirty-One stuff!)
The lonely T:
I do have one other passion and that is traveling. Too bad it doesn't start with an F! I worked for US Airways for 8 and a half years as a Customer Service Manager and Trainer and traveling will always be close to my heart and in my blood! Good thing the hubby still works for them and we fly free! Whenever we have a little time we try to get away!
So there you have it...Mommy Smalls and the 7 Fs. Bon Appetit!
F #1 Faith
I have always been of Christian faith. As a girl I went to church regularly and loved it...it was just a part of life! through my older teenage and younger adult years I drifted a bit from that lifestyle. but never lost my faith in God. I am ecstatic that I have recently found a new church that feels like home and am beginning my long journey to strengthen my relationship with God again! Faith is now at the center of my life again as it should be
F #2 Family
Where would I be without them? My parents, Aunts, Uncles, Brothers and Sister-in-laws have molded me into the woman I have become. And now the torch has been passed to me to do the same for my sweet family of my husband, Rich, My step-daughters; BreHanna and Sarah and my baby boy Constan"Tino". Being a step-parent and a new mom ( 2 completely different feats I must say!) challenges me every day but it is also the best thing I have ever done with my life!
F#3 Friends
The truth is, I don't have a lot of friends in the "we hang out and talk all the time sense". Every single person I know in my life is special to me, and I know a ton of people.If I had the time (and energy) I would keep in touch with all of them and go out to see them but let's face it...that's what Facebook and blogs are for these days! My "best" friends know who they are and I am so grateful for them. For the motherly advice/funny stories we share, the hilarious spoof songs we write together on the bus, and the nights when we casually meet up halfway across the globe for wine in the plaza! The best friends are the ones you don't have to talk to all the time, but when you do you feel as though you saw them yesterday!
F#4 Fitness
My late great full time job before I became a full time mommy was Group Fitness Manager for Fitness Works Athletic Clubs. I am still a part time Les Mills Group Fitness Trainer for Fitness Works and bona fide Les Mills Junkie! For those of you who don't know Les Mills, it is a company based in New Zealand and their programs guarantee life changing fitness experiences every time! I currently teach Les Mills Sh"Bam, Bodypump, Bodycombat and (sometimes) Bodyjam! Check them out at www.lesmills.com and my class schedule at www.fitnessworks.com But beware...it is addicting :-)
F#5 Frugality
If you read F #4 you know I am now a full time stay at home mommy...this has forced me to become frugal. My husband is so supportive of me wanting to be able to be home with Tino since he will most likely be my only chance at being a mommy and I want to be sure I get it right! I was so afraid to even ask if I could stay home but when I did, Rich supported my decision 110%. So much that he even volunteered to get a second part time job at first just to be sure we could afford it. He is so great. However, I still felt I needed to "contribute" so I have come up with ways to "supplement" the income by not spending as much...I have become a coupon queen! In fact that is how I even got the idea for this blog...I started reading a blog called thecentsableshoppin to learn about saving money on your groceries and I got hooked...I now regularly save up to 75% off our weekly grocery bill! If there is a coupon for it, I have clipped it!
F#6 Food
There really isn't much to say about it other than I just love food! I love cooking it, I love eating it, I love watching it on TV, I love everything about it (good thing I love fitness too or I would weigh 300 lbs!). My husband always makes fun of me if I see something on a menu and say "ooh! I love that!" because he says I "love" everything!
F#7 Fashion
Now don't forget F #5. I don't go around sporting Loubiutin shoe's or anything! In fact I don't think I have even purchased any clothing for myself in at least 6 months, but I still LOVE fashion. I love all shoes, purses, jackets and accessories. My dream is to have a closet just for shoes (most of them would be Nikes nowadays, but I still have room for some high heels in my life!) I also love fashion that is functional...and I feed that craving with Thirty-One Gifts. A Faith based company created for women. They sell all sorts of purses, bags and accessories that can all be personalized!!! I'm a little obsessed so I became a consultant (again to contribute to F#5...at least that is what I tell myself...I usually end up spending my profits on more Thirty-One stuff!)
The lonely T:
I do have one other passion and that is traveling. Too bad it doesn't start with an F! I worked for US Airways for 8 and a half years as a Customer Service Manager and Trainer and traveling will always be close to my heart and in my blood! Good thing the hubby still works for them and we fly free! Whenever we have a little time we try to get away!
So there you have it...Mommy Smalls and the 7 Fs. Bon Appetit!
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